A Long Time Problem
Someone flushed the earth's toilet and society
is swirling down the drain
(RT News) - An unnamed British man has been dressing up as Batman to fight off ‘killer clowns,’ after the craze led to a series of injuries and seriously scared children.
The man, who is offering his services on the Facebook page Cumbria Superheroes, has refused to identify himself, but has been caught on camera chasing after another man dressed as a clown.
He later published a video telling local children they did not need to be afraid as he was now there to protect them.
“As for you clowns, if you want to scare someone, why don’t you try and scare me?” he added.
“The clowns are giving kids sleepless nights due to their antics and, well, that’s just really miffed Batman,” said the Cumbrian.
A young boy reportedly used his mother’s Facebook account to thank him for his actions, saying: “Hi Batman my name is [redacted]... I have been scared of this clown situation (school told us about it yesterday)... I seen on my mammy fb [Facebook] that u caught the clown this means I can go to school and not be scared, thank you for your efforts.”
In South Yorkshire, teenager Owen Russell ended up in hospital receiving treatment for head injuries after a clown attacked him and his friends in an alley.
“I heard a sinister laugh behind us and we realized it was a clown – we were all baffled because we haven’t seen anyone dressing up like that in the area,” the 17-year-old said.
“We asked him what he was doing and he seemed intimidated because there were a lot of us. He started to walk off but then he threw a snapped branch from a tree and it hit me and pierced the side of my head.”
Hundreds of incidents have been reported to police and local authorities across the country since earlier this week, including cases of masked clowns holding knives, chainsaws, hatchets and baseball bats.
Blackburn joiner Simon Chinery tried to disarm a man dressed as a clown carrying a 10in blade and suffered such severe injuries to three of his fingers he may never work again.
“It was like something out of a horror movie. His eyes were piercing black. There was blood everywhere,” he told the Lancashire Telegraph.