"There is danger from all men. The only maxim of a free government ought to be to trust no man living with
power to endanger the public liberty." - - - - John Adams

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Church of Bacon offers weddings, baptisms and funerals

I Have Worshipped The Great Bacon

(UK Mirror)  -  Hundreds of madly in love meat fans are getting married in a 'church of bacon'.
Prophets who spread the word of the 'bacon God' claim to have over 4,000 members.
Followers boast titles like 'Funkmaster General', 'Institutionalized Thought Leader' and 'Bacon Prophet'.
Members can get their own 'bacon wedding' for free and their website also advertises funerals and baptisms.
A statement on the United Church of Bacon website reads: "Officiants in the United Church of Bacon can perform legal weddings for those who don’t want God in their ceremony.
"We’ll bring creative suggestions to make your wedding even more magical. Or if you already have a plan, we will follow your lead."
The mockery religion was founded in Las Vegas by atheist John Whiteside in 2010.
He started it as a protest to fight discrimination against atheists.
Bacon prophet John said: "The hatred of atheists, atheophobia and secularphobia, has no stigma, unlike homophobia, Islamophobia, anti-Semitism, and racism. That needs to change.”
A statement on their website calls for people to stand up for separation of church and state.
It reads: "The skeptics’ church has a serious intent, to fight religious discrimination against non-believers, to promote church-state separation, and to demand equal rights for everyone, regardless of faith."
Read More . . . .

Damn Jefferson
That is why this Blog is The Federalist.

The Church of Bacon
We accept anyone into the church and you may worship another God besides Bacon.
Unlike some religions, we don’t get tangled in unproveable supernatural interpretations of goodness that might be manipulated or misinterpreted to justify anything. Just be kind to people while respecting their boundaries.
Baconists love people of all races, backgrounds, sexual orientations, genders, and beliefs. The divine smell of bacon is bestowed equally on all people (except those who have no sense of smell, for whom baconists feel much pity)
Bacon is our god, but that’s just a term of endearment. We don’t believe that Bacon is actually spiritual, though smelling it is surely a Divine Experience. We also like donuts because they are Holey.
In the beginning there was the Big Bang, which begat all of time and space. Eventually sacrificial pigs evolved and the God of Bacon came to be.
Praise Bacon! If you don’t like pigs, you may praise Vegetarian Bacon or Turkey Bacon. Or just love the smell.
Bacon is not jealous. You may have other gods or no gods before Bacon.
We are entirely different from those who worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster, for we prefer our pasta on top of our bacon, while they prefer their bacon on top of their pasta. But that’s cool. Again, we accept everyone who loves the smell of bacon. Also, bacon is real.
The Great Mystery of Bacon is whether it is male or female. Bacon Prophet and Founder John Whiteside has listened closely to frying Bacon and has been unable to determine its gender from the sound of sizzle. He found that the more he turned up the heat, the more aggressive Bacon got. We do not need to understand all mysteries about Bacon to love of the smell of Bacon.

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