P*nis Festival in Japan

Now that's something you don't see everyday

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This ranks about a 9.3 on my Weird-Shit-O-Meter

Chickens to trigger nuclear landmines

"The term Jumbo Shrimp has always amazed me. What is a Jumbo Shrimp? I mean, it's like Military Intelligence- the words don't go together, man."

George Carlin

(Daily Mail)  -  Britain considered using chickens to trigger nuclear land mines in a bizarre scheme to shore up its defences during the Cold War. 

Military chiefs planned to use the explosives to devastate Soviet forces if they forced the western Allies into retreat during an invasion of Europe. 

But designers feared the bombs would become too cold if they were buried underground during a winter war, meaning they would not explode. 

Their improbable solution was to place chickens inside the mine - nicknamed Blue Peacock - using their body heat to keep the nuclear weapon working.

The chickens would have enough food for eight days and would then starve, meaning they could function as a primitive timer.

 A 1957 document, not revealed to the public until 2004, said that 'chickens, with a heat output of the order of 1,000 BTU (British Thermal Units) per bird per day are a possibility.' 

The plan sought to hold up Soviet invaders if they breached the Iron Curtain and attacked West Germany.

Research by David Hawkings, published in the journal Discovery, unearthed details of the secret nuclear land mine plan.  

Britain planned to make 10 of the mines and position them with the British Army in West Germany to counter a feared Soviet attack. 

Tests on the 16,000-pound weapon were to be explained away by saying it was an 'atomic power unit for troops in the field', the research found.

However the mine was scrapped in 1958 after just two prototypes had been manufactured, and was never used. 

Military chiefs are said to have been reluctant to place nuclear weapons in allied countries, fearing the possible fallout.

Read More . . . .

Legalizing Human "Composting"

SCIENCE ALERT:

There’s something beautiful in deciding how one’s final moments should be confined to the memory of our loved ones.

Advances in technology and changing mindsets seem to have people wondering why a coffin in the ground should have to be the only option of final resting place. Residents in Washington state have a brand new vision of returning to the Earth.

Now a bill being sponsored in the state’s legislature could see Washington become the first state to legalize human composting.

The bill, backed by state Senator Jamie Pedersen, would allow for the “recomposition” of human remains, a process which speeds up decomposition and turns remains into a nutrient-packed soil which could be returned to families.

“People from all over the state who wrote to me are very excited about the prospect of becoming a tree or having a different alternative for themselves,” Pedersen told NBC news.

Although “becoming a tree” and other futuristic burial ideas aren’t entirely new concepts, Washington would become the first state to allow human composting if the bill is passed.

The idea isn’t just futuristic, it’s also economical.

More and more Americans are turning to crowdfunding to support funeral costs, with the average funeral costing more than $7,000 in 2017, according to the National Funeral Directors Association. The recomposition process in comparison is somewhat cheaper with costs expected to fall around $5,500.

The process is very similar to traditional composting.

More from Science Alert

‘World Testicle Cooking Championship’ and the winner is . . . .

It Takes Balls To Be A Winner

Lipovica (Serbia) (AFP) – Spring rolls, ratatouille and curry were on the menu at a quirky food festival in rural Serbia on Saturday, with one gutsy ingredient in common: animal testicles.

Now in its 15th year, the cheeky ‘World Testicle Cooking Championship’ draws a motley mix of teams — from groups of friends to professional chefs — for a few days of fun in the Serbian countryside.

There they set up cooking camps in a forest, stirring bubbling stews over wood fires as they vie for the coveted “Ball Cup”.

While the testicles — grey in colour and with a kidney-like texture — may spoil some appetites, festival-goers wax poetic about their taste and alleged aphrodisiac qualities.

“There were some really interesting combinations of flavour… the winner was super, really fantastic,” said Philomena O’Brien, an Australian woman who sat on the three-judge panel that blind-tasted dishes from nearly 20 teams. 

“Choosing the best balls is quite a responsibility,” she added with a smile. 

The event was started by Ljubomir Erovic, the author of a recipe book called “Cooking with Balls”, who claims testicles boost a man’s libido.

“It’s really an aphrodisiac festival,” he told AFP, before donning a chef’s hat and announcing the winner on stage.

Flares and fireworks lit up the sky after a local Serbian team was crowned the winner, with a team of Japanese curry-makers and French restauranteurs also singled out.

“It was quite challenging to do French gastronomy with testicles,” said a member of the French team, Philippe, who runs a restaurant in Paris.

“But we are happy with the result,” he added, showing off the team’s four-course menu featuring bull testicles with foie gras and chocolate “salty balls”, for which it received a special award. 

Milos Kojanic, a 24-year-old from the winning team, said his group also took home last year’s trophy.

The secret to their saucy stews? 

“That’s a mystery,” he said.

Read More . . . .

‘Vampire like creature’ kills sheep and fully drains their blood

(The Sun)  -  TERRIFIED villagers have claimed a mysterious vampire-like creature has killed eight sheep and sucked their blood completely dry.

The corpses of the animals with holes in their necks were found in the village of Matveevtsy in eastern Ukraine's Ternopil Oblast region.

Local authorities, vets and villagers say they have no idea what kind of creature could suck all the blood from eight adult sheep.

Farmer Mykhailo Ostapyuk discovered the dead animals in the morning when he was moving his flock of sheep from an open-air sheepfold to pasture.

"The corpses of the sheep were scattered in different parts of the sheepfold,"  he told local media.

"Looks like they were hunted and killed one by one."

Ostapyuk says he now plans to install CCTV cameras in the sheep pen to catch the mysterious creature.

A local vet with 40 years’ experience, named as Maria Andriychuk, examined the victims.

She said that each corpse had two holes on the neck artery and some of them had holes in their legs where veins were located.

"All the blood was sucked from their bodies through the holes in their necks and legs,” said Andriychuk

“I did not find any single spot of blood on the ground near the corpses.”

When she did an autopsy on some of the corpses, the vet says she was even more shocked.

“There was not even a drop of blood in the animal’s hearts. They were just empty. I've never seen anything like it before."

Each of the killed sheep weighed about 154 pounds.

The terrified villagers say they cannot imagine what kind of creature could be so vicious.

Ostapyuk showed a picture of a footprint he found near the fence of the sheepfold, which he believes belongs to the mysterious vampire-like creature.

Some say that the footprint is similar to that of a wolf or a large dog.

But local hunter Yaroslav Yurchuk believes that a wolf or a dog could not have killed the sheep.

"We do not have wolves in the area as we do not have large forests here,” he said.

One of the local women said: "All this is a total mystery to us. I'm afraid to go out of my house."

Read More . . . .

Seagulls spy for the Jews say Arabs

Retard Alert

The fucking idiots in your rear view

mirror are closer than they appear.

Reseaches at Ramat Gan Safari attached a surveillance transmitter to a seagull's leg for research purposes and set it free. Unfortunately, the bird landed in Tripoli, where it was soon caught and transferred to the authorities on suspicion of spying for Israel.

How does a wounded gull becomes an Israeli spy? Ask the media outlets in Arab countries.

This story began a few months ago when a sick seagull discovered in Eilat was transferred to the veterinary hospital at Ramat Gan Safari. In April, the bird recovered and was released near Atlit, a small town located on the northern coast.

Before its release, researchers attached a GPS-based satellite transmitter onto the seagull's leg, in order to track the bird's migration route.

The gull arrived at Tripoli, Libya. Unfortunately,locals noticed the transmitter attached to its leg, and apparently transferred the bird to the authorities.

The authorities suspected that the seagull was part of an Israeli espionage plot, and Arab media outlets published pictures of the seagull with the transmitter alongside a caption accusing the bird of espionage: "engaged in spying for Israel."

The transmitter indicated that the bird was later transferred to a villa in Beirut, Lebanon. Apparently, the flapping bird had undergone a thorough examination there, perhaps by Hezbollah members.

On August 15, the GPS device stopped transmitting signals on its location, apparently because it had been neutralized. The seagull's fate remains unknown.

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BURGER KING rescinds offer for women impregnated by World Cup players

Now That's a Whopper

Having Sex For Mother Russia

(Daily Mail)  -  Burger King has apologised for offering a lifetime supply of Whoppers to Russian women who get pregnant by World Cup players.

The fast food chain promised a reward to women who get 'the best football genes' and 'ensure the success of the Russian team for generations to come.'

It offered women impregnated by players 3 million Russian roubles (£35,745) and a lifetime supply of Whoppers. 

But critics assailed the offer, announced on Russian social network VK on Tuesday, as sexist and demeaning.

The announcement was removed later in the day from Burger King's social media accounts, but is still circulating among Russian social network users.

The fast food company posted a Russian-language statement on VK - Russia's equivalent to Facebook - saying: 'We offer apologies for the announcement we made. It was too offensive.'

Ads in Russia often play on sexist stereotypes, notably ads around sports events like the World Cup. 

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Werewolfs are roaming Montana

"Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms, and the autumn moon is bright."

The Wolf Man

• Werewolves in Montana? or a secret government project like the half human, half chicken created by mad scientists.

(Great Falls Tribune)  -  Was it a wolf, some type of hybrid, or a creature that hasn't been seen in Montana since the Ice Age?

On May 16 a lone wolf-like animal was shot and killed on a ranch outside Denton. With long grayish fur, a large head and an extended snout, the animal shared many of the same characteristics as a wolf; but its ears were too large, it's legs and body too short, its fur uncharacteristic of that common to a wolf.

So far, the exact species is a mystery.

So what was it? At this point, no one is 100 percent sure.

"We have no idea what this was until we get a DNA report back," said Bruce Auchly, information manager for Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks. "It was near a rancher's place, it was shot, and our game wardens went to investigate. The whole animal was sent to our lab in Bozeman. That's the last I ever heard of it."

Nonetheless, there remains an element of uncertainty about the creature, even among wildlife biologists. 

Several things grabbed my attention when I saw the pictures," said Ty Smucker, wolf management specialist for Montana FWP. "The ears are too big. The legs look a little short. The feet look a little small, and the coat looks weird. There's just something off about it."

Read More . . . .

If government backed mad scientists are going to give us werewolves or half chicken-half human creatures then I want my flying monkeys. 

Transgender illegal aliens pour across the border

Open Borders America

• I will say it AGAIN, the "Conservative" Republican Party is nowhere to be found. Trump is the only one willing to act on immigration.

While in Mexico investigating the migrant caravan seeking asylum, Infowars reporter Millie Weaver uncovers an emerging number of transgender ‘women’ from Central America working their way up to the border.

The Death of the West - Abortion and Suicide Machines

A World Gone Mad

The West is obsessed with killing babies and adults

(Agence France-Presse)  -  A controversial suicide pod that enables its occupant to kill themselves at a press of a button went on display at Amsterdam funeral show on Saturday.

Called the "Sarco", short for sarcophagus, the 3D-printed machine invented by Australian euthanasia activist Philip Nitschke and Dutch designer Alexander Bannink comes with a detachable coffin, mounted on a stand that contains a nitrogen canister.

"The person who wants to die presses the button and the capsule is filled with nitrogen. He or she will feel a bit dizzy but will then rapidly lose consciousness and die," said Nitschke, who has been dubbed "Dr Death" for his work to legalise euthanasia.

The "Sarco" is a device "to provide people with a death when they wish to die," Nitschke told AFP.

The inventors put a model of the device on display, together with a set of virtual reality glasses to give visitors a true-to-life experience of what it would be like to sit in the pod, before ultimately pressing the button.

Nitschke said he aimed to build the first fully-functioning pod before the end of the year.

After that, the design will be put online as an open-source document for people to download.

"That means that anybody who wants to build the machine can download the plans and 3D-print their own device," Nitschke said.

Read More . . . .

"Penis Facials" are now the rage in Hollywood

It's a race between the idiots and the morons

(Hollywood Reporter)  -  We thought Hollywood had already gone to the nth degree in terms of out-there, OTT beauty treatments — from cannabis manicures to Gwyneth Paltrow willingly getting stung by bees in the name of vanity. But Cate Blanchett’s beauty confession earlier this week takes the cake.

In an interview with Vogue Australia while in Sydney to celebrate Giorgio Armani’s latest fragrance, Si Passione, Blanchett (who is the face of the fragrance) revealed that she and Sandra Bullock got “penis facials” at Georgia Louise Atelier in New York. 

"Sandy [Bullock] and I saw this facialist in New York, Georgia Louise, and she gives what we call the 'penis facial' and it's something — I don't know what it is, or whether it's just 'cause it smells a bit like sperm — there's some enzyme in it, so Sandy refers to it as the 'penis facial,'" Blanchett responded, after reporter Remy Rippon asked her: "What's the most outlandish beauty treatment you've tried?"  

Cate Blanchett
The foreskin provides a long-lasting facial glow

After The Cut, New Beauty and several other publications picked up the news — and the Twitter-sphere went bananas over the controversy — Vogue Australia quietly removed the quote from the story without any notation that the originally published story had been edited, although the article could still be viewed on the magazine site via Google search hours later and the interview is reprinted in full on a Cate Blanchett fan site. 

While Blanchett's publicist has not yet responded to requests from THR for comment, aesthetician Louise was happy to spill details about her $650 Hollywood EGF (Epidermal Growth Factor) Facial.

"The Hollywood EGF Facial started last year when Sandra Bullock was filming in NYC and came to see me for a deep cleansing and long-lasting facial glow," says Louise. "I wanted to give her something that would transform her skin without the need to undergo lasers, so I loaded up her bespoke facial with something that would give her long-lasting results. Within weeks her makeup artist, Whitney, and castmates wanted to know what was the cause of her amazing, long-lasting glowing skin.... And from that moment onward the Hollywood EGF Facial was born!"

"The foreskin is collected during circumcision and the stem cells are then harvested and extracted through a centrifuge," says Louise.  “I am always very mindful to explain radical serums and potions that I carry in my back bar, so I always explain that EGF is derived from newborn baby foreskin, but cells were taken and from that, new cells are cloned from a laboratory.”

On Thursday, Louise posted a screen shot of an article that recapped the controversy in the Daily Mail accompanied by some blatant self-promotion. "My ultra-exclusive facial to the stars has been revealed by Cate Blanchett and Sandra Bullock and is now available at my atelier! No babies were used — only clone cell[s] taken years ago!!!!!! The facial includes a cleanse, followed by an intensive TCA peel, micro-needling machine and en electrifying mask to calm the skin, followed by my 'secret box' of EGF (Epidermal Growth Factor) serum."

"EGF is clone cells taken from progenitor cells (original cells) of the human fibroblast donated from newborn baby foreskin," she continued. "We are not using original stem cells, only clone!! The stem cells were [given] to a stem cell bank in Korea!!!! Which had the world's largest bank of [stem cells] which helps to generate collagen and elastin. FDA approved stem cells and peptides are penetrated deep into the skin using a special electric micro-needling wand. This process allows the active ingredients to be transported deep in the skin by creating a temporary micro-channel.  bookings@georgialouise.com" 

Read More . . . .

Feds Fund Clown School in San Francisco

Your Tax Dollars at Work

(CNS News) - The federal government is funding a clown school located in House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi’s San Francisco-based congressional district that has classes and workshops on “Precision Idiocy” and how to act like a “Buffoon.”

The school, which is called the “Clown Conservatory” and is part of the nonprofit Circus Center, received a $10,000 grant from the National Endowment for the Arts for the period that runs from June 2017 through May 2018.

The center says that the Clown Conservatory is “the United States' only professional training program for clowns and physical comedians.”

“Clown Conservatory is a multidisciplinary training program in physical comedy, precision idiocy and eccentric acting,” says the school’s brochure.

“Our program’s directive,” it says, “is to foster the super-versatile Human Cartoon.”

The organization’s website lists classes and workshops that include “Character Morphing,” “Buffoon,” and “Precision Idiocy: Micro-Crafting Physical Comedy.”

The summary of the grant published by the NEA says: “The training will help prepare artists to meet the demands of today’s international circus, film, and theater job market.”

Read More . . . .

The Simpsons: Krusty's Olympic promotion

Illegal Alien Force-Fed Goat Cocaine And Booze

Another Open Borders Horror

(The Smoking Gun)  -  A horse trainer is locked up on a felony animal cruelty charge after Georgia cops obtained video showing him force-feeding a goat cocaine and whiskey. 

Deputies with the Gwinnett County Sheriff’s Office yesterday arrested Sergio Palomares-Guzman, 28, at the farm in the city of Grayson where he lives and works.

Pictured at right, Palomares-Guzman is being held in the county jail in lieu of $11,200 bond. However, he is also subject to an Immigration and Customs Enforcement detainer, apparently due to his status as an alien.

Palomares-Guzman was busted after a tipster provided investigators with a video “featuring Palomares-Guzman holding the goat’s horns while a second male suspect inserted cocaine" into the animal’s nostril. Palomares-Guzman then allegedly opened the goat’s mouth and poured whiskey inside.

Palomares-Guzman shared video of the January incident, which can be seen above. Two other male suspects remain unidentified, though deputies believe they reside in North Carolina.

The goat, which Palomares-Guzman owned, “received a veterinary exam and was given a clean bill of health,” according to a sheriff’s spokesperson. The animal, seen at left, is now available for adoption via the Gwinnett County animal shelter.

Read More . . . .

West using lizards for spying says Iran

Retard Alert

Idiots roam the Earth

(Times of Israel)  -  The former chief-of-staff of Iran’s armed forces said Tuesday that Western spies had used lizards to “attract atomic waves” and spy on his country’s nuclear program.

Hassan Firuzabadi, senior military adviser to supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, was responding to questions from local media on the recent arrest of environmentalists.

He said he did not know the details of the cases, but that the West had often used tourists, scientists and environmentalists to spy on Iran.

“Several years ago, some individuals came to Iran to collect aid for Palestine… We were suspicious of the route they chose,” he told the reformist ILNA news agency.

“In their possessions were a variety of reptile desert species like lizards, chameleons… We found out that their skin attracts atomic waves and that they were nuclear spies who wanted to find out where inside the Islamic Republic of Iran we have uranium mines and where we are engaged in atomic activities,” he said.

Read More . . . .

GOP Congress Bans Sex

The Taliban Rules America

Normal heterosexual relations between consenting adults is declared illegal.

(Washington Post)  -  The House voted Tuesday to prohibit sexual relationships between lawmakers and their employees, a remarkable rule change that brings the institution in line with the military and the private sector after a rash of sexual harassment and misconduct allegations roiled Capitol Hill.

The prohibition, pushed by Rep. Barbara Comstock (R-Va.), took immediate effect as Congress moved toward changing the system for reporting and adjudicating employees’ claims of sexual harassment. The House approved language Tuesday establishing an office to advocate for employees during that process and a separate bill requiring lawmakers to reimburse taxpayers when they are involved in workplace settlements.

“Thanks to the #MeToo movement, the American public has made it clear that they have had enough,” said Rep. Jackie Speier (D-Calif.). “They expect Congress to lead, and for once we are.”

Read More . . . .

Idiots in Congress are obsessed with sex and Russia.

Sex Doll
Sex becomes illegal
As sex becomes illegal people turn to other outlets.
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How I fell in love with my sex doll
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Buy your talking sex robot for only $4,995
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California: "Have sex this way or be labeled a rapist."
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Use a fake penis and go to jail
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Robot oral sex with your morning coffee
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Teddy Bear Sex and Chicken Rape - It's the end of the world as we know it
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Sex with German Shepherds

Twelve Camels Are Disqualified From Saudi Arabian Beauty Contest For Using Botox

They will keep you warm

on those cold desert nights

(Daily Mail)  -  Twelve camels have been disqualified from an annual Saudi beauty contest after their owners were found to have used Botox.

The animals were ejected from the King Abdulaziz Camel Festival, taking place near Riyadh, for violating strict beauty contest rules. 

Cash prizes for camel competitions at the 28-day festival total $57million, so pressure to cheat can be intense.

A new handbook was issued to beauty contest entrants last year, Newshub reports.

'Camels that are found with drugs in the lips, shaved, dyed in any parts of the body, or with changes from natural form are not allowed,' the handbook says.

Aside from the beauty contest there are awards for camel racing, obedience training, camel hair art and the best photographs of camels.

Chief judge of the show, Fawzan al-Madi, told Reuters: 'The camel is a symbol of Saudi Arabia. 

'We used to preserve it out of necessity, now we preserve it as a pastime.'

Read More . . . .