"There is danger from all men. The only maxim of a free government ought to be to trust no man living with
power to endanger the public liberty." - - - - John Adams

Sunday, September 2, 2012

It's the end of the world as we know it

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

(EDITOR'S NOTE - Judging by the stories in the news, I am firmly convinced we have reached the End of Days. Human beings are fucking idiots. We are doomed.)

Naked Chinese Man Brings Traffic to a Halt

In any other scenario, these police officers would be honoured by this respectful salute.

Only on this occasion, the man standing to attention happens to be completely naked and has just thrown rush-hour traffic into chaos by jumping onto moving vehicles.

The suspect arrived on scene in the Chinese city of Hefei dressed in his boxer shorts and very soon began clambering onto bonnets, thumping on the sides of vehicles and even licking windscreens.

Soon after, he stripped off his underwear and jumped onto a taxi before laying down on the road in front of traffic.

When police arrived on scene, the deranged man stood to attention, saluted their car and performed a some kind of dance as officers moved in.     (UK Daily Mail)


Man who assaulted wife with ostrich egg jailed for six months

A New Zealand man is jailed who assaulted his wife with an ostrich egg after her pet pig ran amok.

Phillip Russell lost his temper when he discovered the pig had damaged his power saw, verbally abusing his wife, spitting at her then grabbing an ostrich egg from the kitchen table and hurling it at her, Fairfax Media reported.

It said Russell, 46, had repeatedly asked his wife to keep the pet pig under control as it had damaged their home, a neighbour's house and council property, but she insisted it should be given free range.

The ostrich egg, the largest type of egg produced by any living bird species, caused bruising to the chest of Russell's wife, the report said.

It said Russell pleaded guilty to charges including assault using an ostrich egg as a weapon over the July 5 incident and was sentenced to six months jail in Hastings District Court.

At an earlier court hearing, Russell's defence lawyer said his client, who has a record of domestic violence, had expected his wife to catch the egg.

The report did not explain why Russell had an ostrich egg, a species that is not native to New Zealand.   (UK Telegraph)


Cops find naked man at bottom of porta-potty

A Maine man found himself in deep doo-doo after allegedly going on a tear at a local disc golf course — before he was apprehended by cops.

That's because they found him in the bottom of a port-a-potty.

When police at Enman Disc Golf in Brunswick in response to complaints that a naked man had been rolling in the mud, overturning trash cans and sitting in the disc goals, the suspect was nowhere to be found, The Times Record reported.

For a while, a backpack full of clothes was all they could trace — until they spotted him in the bottom of the portable toilet, according to the Times Record.

The 29-year-old didn't respond to cops' commands, the deputy police chief said, but eventually cops fished him out, sprayed him down and cuffed him.     (NBC News Connecticut)

A MAN has been dubbed the "Porta-Potty Peeper" after he hid in the tank of a portable toilet. 
"I was at the yoga festival, doing a little bit of yoga, and I’m just seeing all these goddesses," Luke Chrisco, who said he is a voyeur and not a rapist, told FOX31 Denver. "It seems crazy, but I just felt like I was being blessed by their energy, even though it was unintentional."

Chrisco, 30, added the idea of waiting in a tank of waste and urine to spy on women at the yoga festival in Boulder, Colorado, didn’t bother him.

"There’s bacteria in there, but to me it’s just normal ... we all have bodily fluids,” he said. “It seems terrible, but it didn’t actually smell that bad or anything. I still would have done it even if it smelled a little weird, because where there is muck, there is gold."

Police believe Chrisco has spied on at least 200 women in Boulder and hundreds more across the US and Europe.

"I am like a hunter, a man watching a bird, " said Chrisco, who was arrested in Vail for hdiing in the portable toilet in Boulder.

"I’ll be honest, it was a lifestyle that I was living," Chrisco said, "just by choice trying to find my private way to exercise my spiritual beliefs. I made a vow to myself...that I never wanted to frighten any girl. I would rather put a gun to my head than scare anyone or hurt anyone. That’s how I live my life."      (Daily Telegraph)


Man sets fire to home by microwaving undies

LONDON (AP) — Note to self: A microwave is for leftovers, not your boxers.

British firefighters say they saved an apartment from destruction after its domestically challenged resident tried to dry his wet socks and underwear in a microwave oven.

The Dorset Fire and Rescue Service says firefighters rescued the man from his home and extinguished the kitchen blaze Monday.

The fire destroyed the appliance along with the two pairs of underwear and socks inside it, and caused smoke damage to the apartment in Weymouth, a town on England’s southwest coast.     (The Gazette)

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