“A new survey found that over 35 percent of Americans actually plan on voting before Election Day. Not for president of the United States, just for ‘Dancing With the Stars.’” –Jimmy Fallon
“A new survey shows how much time we waste every day. For example, we waste seven minutes in line waiting for coffee, 28 minutes getting through airport security, and four years waiting for President Obama to do something about the economy.” –Jay Leno
“There’s a man who actually went to high school with Mitt Romney and later went to law school with President Obama. When asked how going to school with two presidential candidates made him feel, he said, ‘Uh, bad about my job at Arby’s.’” –Jimmy Fallon
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