It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.
EDITOR'S NOTE - Judging by the stories in the news, I am firmly convinced we have reached the End of Days. Human beings are fucking idiots. We are doomed.
Stick the Donald Where?
(Huffington Post) - Ever want Donald Trump to kiss your ass?
Fernando Sosa, a 31-year-old Florida artist, is telling the real-estate-mogul-turned-presidential-candidate where to stick it. He has created a butt plug that looks likes the Donald. It's got everything from his puckered lips to his trademark comb-over.
"I wanted to do something insulting," Sosa told The Huffington Post. "I like the mental picture of his face going into people's asses."
The sex toy was created in reaction to Trump's last month blasting of Mexico and Mexican immigrants. "They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists," he said in remarks after launching his presidential campaign.
The Ted Cruz sex toy is also available. Operators are standing by for your order. (I always knew he was a dick.) |
Sosa used a 3D printer to get Trump's trademark hair to whip up just right.
"The technology requires a certain thickness and texture on the hair, so duplicating his thin, see-through comb-over was tough," he said.
They sell for $27.99. Future versions will come with accessories for Trump's noggin like a snap-on toupee and a piece of artificial poop that will also fit snugly on the head.
Sosa has done similar sex toys for Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, and Rand Paul, among others, but said he never planned to do Trump.
"I didn't think he was going to run," Sosa said. "And then he made those comments about Mexicans. I was born in Mexico so I stopped working on Jeb Bush to do him."
Although Trump is notorious for trying to control the use of his image, Sosa believes First Amendment rules regarding free speech and political parody will protect him in court.
"It does seem like he likes to file frivolous lawsuits, so he might sue me just to scare me," Sosa said. "Rich people don't have to be right to sue. I'd love for him to take me to court."
The Huffington Post reached out to Donald Trump via Twitter, but has not received a response.
Sosa is now planning to finish up the Jeb Bush butt plug and has other ideas of who to do next.
"People really seem to love anything with Chris Christie, and I'd like to do Lindsey Graham," Sosa said. "The way they spoof him on 'The Daily Show,' I get this image of him in a dress."
Read More . . . .
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Attack of the Lesbian Dildo!
(Smoking Gun) - A Florida woman is facing a domestic battery charge after allegedly using a dildo to batter her female domestic partner during a fight in the couple’s residence, police allege.
The confrontation Saturday evening occurred while a St. Petersburg Police Department officer was inside the home of Annette Kielhurn, 57, and Gamze Capaner-Ridley.
The cop was present to oversee Capaner-Ridley’s removal of personal belongings from the house, a move apparently prompted by Capaner-Ridley’s filing the prior day for a civil domestic violence injunction against Kielhurn.
After the women tussled over possession of a dress, Officer Eric Blomgren directed Kielhurn not to touch the 47-year-old Capaner-Ridley. However, “Shortly afterwards the defendant intentionally shoved a ‘dildo’ in the victim’s face and grabbed her right arm while arguing whose it belonged to,” Blomgren reported.
As a result, the cop arrested Kielhurn for domestic battery. An arrest affidavit does not indicate whether the dildo was seized as evidence.
Seen above, Kielhurn--who has Capaner-Ridley’s first name tattooed on her chest--was booked into jail on the misdemeanor charge. She was released from custody after posting $500 bond. According to court records, Kielhurn was arrested in late-June for trespassing (and the case is pending).
Kielhurn, a former New York State corrections officer, served about three years in prison for narcotics trafficking after a 1996 police search of her rental car turned up 25 kilos of cocaine in the vehicle’s trunk.
Read More . . . . The Naked Gun: Assault by Dildo
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Customer Pepper Sprays Del Taco Employees, Customers Over Burrito Order
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