Penis Snatching & Nipple Tattoos - It's the end of the world as we know it

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.



EDITOR'S NOTE - Judging by the stories in the news, I am firmly convinced we have reached the End of Days. Human beings are fucking idiots. We are doomed.

Penis Snatching Crime Wave In Africa

Reports of genital theft are a relatively common occurrence across West and Central Africa, scholars say.
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Academics observing reports of penis snatching on the continent have previously deemed it an urban phenomenon - a manifestation of the anxieties that arise when a village becomes a city and rural people find themselves living among crowds of unfamiliar people.

So a U.S. anthropologist was 'intrigued' when she arrived in the tiny hamlet of Tiringoulou in the Central African Republic, to find two villagers claiming to have been the victims of genital theft reports the UK Daily Mail.

Previous instances have been reported in crowded centres like Lagos, Nigeria, or Douala, in Cameroon.
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Louisa Lombard, a postdoctoral fellow in geography at the University of California, Berkeley, said villagers in Tiringoulou told her of a traveller, upon arriving on a Sudanese merchant truck, removed two men's penises with a handshake.
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The academic was told the stranger had targeted a tea seller in the market and a second man, she wrote in a report on alternet.org.
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'After handing over his money, he [the stranger] clasped the vendor’s hand. The tea seller felt an electric tingling course through his body and immediately sensed that his penis had shrunk to a size smaller than that of a baby’s. His yells quickly drew a crowd.
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'Somehow in the fray a second man fell victim as well,' she wrote.

Several eyewitnesses assured her the 'appendages did indeed shrink dramatically'.

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Tittooing - Nipple Tattoos Now a Trend?

In the "Too Much Information Department"  -  Liverpudlian glamazons have taken grooming one step further by darkening and defining their nipples - with tattoos.

This new trend of semi-permanent nipple tattooing has swept Liverpool by storm and has already reached the vajazzled land of Essex.

Nipple tattooing, or ‘tittooing’ as it is nicknamed, is a process which originated as a medical procedure for breast reconstruction. Now, it serves as a cosmetic procedure for women to darken, enlarge and define their nipples and the surrounding areola. The semi-permanent treatment gives them their 'perfect nipples' and can last a life-time with regular top-ups says the UK Telegraph.

Gail Proudman, an independent clinician based in Merseyside, tattoos the nipples of more than three women a week and has seen a huge increase in young women coming in for the latest cosmetic trend.

She explains: "A lot of people want their nipples made darker. It’s the fashion. Some people think theirs are too pink or their boyfriends want them done. I think sometime they are doing it because they are conscious of them being pale and they think it’s fashionable to have dark nipples. They'll look at the magazines and page 3 and unfortunately a lot of it might be peer pressure.

“The girls get them done so they can go topless and not be embarrassed, or when they're in a changing room and getting changed. They can go on holiday in front of their partners, go for massages, spray tans and just not be conscious of their body."

The two-hour procedure, which can cost up to £1,200 for both nipples, lasts around 12 to 18 months and top-ups are recommended to restore any colour lost as the ink fades over time. The nipples are made to look natural by matching ink colours to skin tones, which are then shaded and tattooed on to the anaesthetised nipple. Several weeks after the procedure, it is all repeated to restore fading and add finishing touches.

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Man Sexually Abused His Peacock

But was it consensual?

Was the peacock a boy or a girl?

CHICAGO - A man from northwest suburban Roselle, in DuPage County, faces a charge of misdemeanor animal cruelty after police said he sexually abused his pet peacock.

David Beckman, 64, of the 600 block of East Devon Avenue, was charged with the crime after police learned the bird died while they were investigating Beckman about an alleged case of indecent solicitation of a child.

Details surrounding the case with the peacock, reportedly named Phyl, were unclear Friday, as investigators said it was part of the case involving the child, the Daily Herald reported.

Court records confirmed Beckman faces three charges of harassment by telephone, unlawful possession of drug paraphernalia, two counts of marijuana possession, attempted indecent solicitation of a child, cruelty to animals, and two counts of battery.

He remained in the DuPage County Jail.

Source: (nbcchicago.com)