"There is danger from all men. The only maxim of a free government ought to be to trust no man living with
power to endanger the public liberty." - - - - John Adams

Saturday, May 4, 2013

It's Bikinis vs Pasties in Texas

The Eternal Debate:
Pasties vs Bikini Tops 
Texas judge issues double-entendre-filled ruling in strip club case

Why are people frightened of sex?  What is so wrong about letting free men and women live their lives without Big Brother Government telling them what to do every second of the day?

Bill Clinton appointed U.S. District Judge Fred Biery has spoken. The Texas judge issued a ruling in the case he called "The Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Bikini Top v. the (More) Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Pastie."

Yes, indeed. At issue was a strip club's request for a preliminary injunction that would block enforcement of a sexually up-tight San Antonio ordinance requiring its dancers to wear bikini tops while entertaining.

The club had asked that its employees be allowed to wear nipple-covering "pasties" instead reports Yahoo News.

The fact that this case went to court is strange enough. But that seems downright pedestrian when compared with Judge Biery's hilarious ruling that was so full of double-entendres we could barely keep up.

The 29-page document starts off with a bang. "An ordinance dealing with semi-nude dancers has once again fallen into the city's lap," he writes.

He continues:
The City of San Antonio ("City") wants exotic dancers employed by Plantiffs to wear larger pieces of fabric to cover more of the female breast. Thus, the age old question before the Court, now with constitutional implications, is: Does size matter?
The judge's conclusion is the stuff of legend. Here it is, in all its glory:
Accordingly, the request for preliminary injunction is DENIED.

Should the parties choose to string this case out to trial on the merits, the Court encourages reasonable discovery intercourse as they navigate the peaks and valleys of litigation, perhaps to reach a happy ending.

It is so ORDERED.

Pasties vs Bikini Tops 
Is it asking too much to allow both or better yet, none at all?

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